Beat The Meat

We are currently living in a food revolution. It’s a bit like the industrial revolution but there are lots of burgers and lasagnes. In fact it’s a vegetarian’s nightmare. A nightmare so inescapable they may as well have had two sirloins stapled to their eyelids.

The debate around horse meat has been churned out for a while now but the basis of what we’ve learnt is that cheap food is shit, big corporations lie to us, and Kauto Star would taste great between a bun served with relish and salad.

The food revolution has been happening for a few years though and it is only now really grabbing the front page headlines. Celebrity chefs have been banging their utensils around the importance of buying organic and free-range produce since the dawn of angel delight and tinned shark farts.

Whilst some may have listened, the masses did not. We the masses continued to penny pinch on sub-standard frozen produce that had the same nutritional quality of a skunks’ rectum. We dined out blissfully unaware that we were chowing down on deceased show jumpers. There may have even been pieces of jockey that are yet to be identified.

If we were so unaware you might wonder what all the fuss is about. No person in their right mind would have thought a Findus lasagne resembled anything like a well-rounded meal. Would they? Well it appears they did. It was like finding out Santa isn’t real and that the strange fat man coming into your house at Christmas was just a strange and horrible coincidence.

Small food businesses and market stall owners are now rubbing their hands together with high-quality delight. The people are finally waking up to good food and they want it by the truck load. The only thing that remains to be seen is if the smaller retailers will be able to cope with the demand and ensure no short cuts are taken in their food production.